"What do you want?" is one of those questions that owners of pregnant bellies hear equally as often as "How far along are you?" and it's generally the predecessor to "What are you having?" The "good mom" answer is "It doesn't matter as long as it's healthy." [Aside: I have come to despise this answer. What does that mean? That if it's not healthy you'll be dissatisfied? You'll return it like an ugly vase you got as a wedding present but never registered for? NO! You love an "unhealthy" baby the way any parent loves their child...maybe in an even more painful, transcendent way than you love a "healthy" baby! I wish P.C. women everywhere would find a new catch-phase.] Some version of that answer is what I give strangers. What I would tell you if we were friends is that we want a girl SO bad! Now, there's some honesty in the "..as long as it's healthy" answer--sort of. We know boys. We love boys. We can do boys. We would be THRILLED with another boy; however, the novelty and enigmatic qualities that seem to surround this unknown creature called "female" in the Martin family is undeniably irresistible. She's like the forbidden fruit of baby making--we just want a taste of what it's like!
Yesterday in WalMart, in an M. Night Shyamalanesque scene, a strange woman with frizzy hair and dark circles under her eyes looked my belly over and stated flatly, "So, you're having a girl next." I subconsciously stepped back and stammered "I don't know, maybe. We haven't found out yet." She just nodded, as if someone had told her something they hadn't let me in on yet. Maybe she's psychic, maybe she's gifted, maybe she's just a little nutty, but in some strange way I took it as confirmation...for the moment anyway. We'll see what the ultrasound technician finds. Frankly, I'll be shocked if they say it's a girl. I'll demand black & white proof of a tiny between-the-legs shot if they say it's a girl. In the mean time, I'm left having twisted dreams about the WalMart lady and my so-called baby girl. And I fully expect to hear, "It's a boy!" on September 20. Here's to waiting!